Live to Love

aulli:

timeywimeyimpala:

SPN Meme . Two Quotes [2/2]
► “The worst part was Dean, trying so hard to be loyal, with every instinct telling him otherwise.”

#DEAN WAS TRYING SO HARD OKAY IT HURTS MY HEART#that was the most heartbreaking part of the episode tbh #how much faith dean had in cas #dean who’s never had much faith in anything #believed so strongly in cas

#NO STOP #YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO TALK ABOUT DEAN’S FAITH IN CAS #BECAUSE THAT IS A REALLY TENDER SPOT IN MY HEART #ugh #because Dean DOESN’T have faith #not in himself #not in God #not in Sam half the time #but he’s always held Cas up on this pedestal of perfection #which totally isn’t fair to Cas #because he’s an angel sure #but that doesn’t mean he’s perfect #especially when he’s become so human #but Dean did it anyways #he had that unending faith and trust that Cas would always do the right thing #so he was fucking crushed when he realized that Cas was lying #it shattered the faith and trust Dean placed in Cas #which is a big deal for anyone #but someone like Dean? #who can count on one hand the number of people he trusts? #that’s like your entire world crashing around you #I hate everything #deancas (via timeywimeyimpala)

 

 

It’s not even that Cas was up on a pedestal, but the fact that he was one of the few that got past Dean’s defenses, one of the few he allowed “in.” People like Dean keep people out, keep people at a distance so they can’t hurt you. People will always disappoint, will always leave, will always lie. And you can’t trust them. But if you don’t get close to them, they can’t hurt you when they inevitably betray your trust, when they inevitably leave you, when they inevitably hurt you. If you don’t care about them, it won’t hurt when they disappear from your life.

But when someone who you’ve allowed in, or someone who’s worked their way through all of your natural defenses, despite everything you’ve done to keep them out, when someone who’s gotten close to you leaves or betrays you? It’s like taking a knife directly to the heart. It cripples you. It changes you, and in some ways, it kills a part of you. The recovery for that kind of wound, if there is a recovery at all, takes a very long time, and there will always be a mark, always leave a scar.

So to have that faith questioned.. someone you’ve allowed in, someone you’ve trusted that much, knowing how much you are potentially sacrificing, knowing how much they can hurt you or even kill a part of yourself.. you’ll do anything to deny that. Even when there is proof mounting, you’ll deny it until simply you cannot anymore.

And then you simply lose a part of yourself.

(via majicalwonderland)

(via misha-collins)

When Castiel was young he saw birds in the sky and jumped to fly among them. When Castiel was old he saw a man on the ground and fell to stand beside him.

(via hewaslost)

(via acklescollins)

(via acklescollins)

(via deanies)